Get organised, timetable your schedules in advance. Get cooking, freeze some meals. Setup online grocery shopping & home delivery. Most of the providers save “your favourites” so it gets easier and faster each time you shop. Cost is negligible.

2 Nappies are no bother once you’ve done a few. You’ll soon get the routine. Have your changing table, supplies & disposal organised. Get your baby holdall bag organised – just the basics for nappy change & clothes changes. You won’t need to carry everything with you.
3 Grab those moments when baby sleeps on your tummy. This will likely only happen for a very short period in your baby’s life – over the first few weeks or months. You will savour the memory forever.

Sleep will be challenged. Sleep is fundamental. Sleeping patterns will be overturned. She will need to synchronise hers with the baby. Use the spare room or over-the-counter sleeping remedies if your sleep is suffering. Your partner will most likely be less available emotionally – be ready for that and cut her some slack. She may not want sex for weeks or months. Generally it’s out for the first 4 to 6 weeks due to the risk of infection, bleeding, healing etc – depending on the birth. Don’t pressurise. Talk about it. Open communication is the key to building intimacy. There are other ways to reconnect – like holding, cuddling, chatting and sharing over a glass of wine when baby is asleep. Do prioritise your connection. Do not render it a low priority.
Have lots of fun. Once your baby gets more aware, get on down there on the floor together – it’s a great opportunity for a second childhood and to form a cool bond with your smallie.
7 Look after your mental health. The first 6 months of each child’s life is very stressful for both parents. You need to be resourced and supported to withstand the stress & anxiety. Then you will be more available to support your partner and family.

8 Do not isolate yourself. You will need breaks also. We do not operate at our optimum when isolated. Sharing eases everything. Openness to support and asking for it are vital – for you both. Cuidiu offers women a fantastic way to meet others who are coping with exactly what you are – in a very easy relaxed way – at coffee mornings either in local café’s or someone’s home. For men, we don’t have the same ready-made solution available – so setup a dads group. I set one up in Midleton and 7 of us still meet regularly.
9 Don’t bother spending big bucks on expensive hardware – ie prams buggies etc. The most versatile, usable & user friendly one will invariably be your Maclaren foldable pushchair. Get yourself a wearable baby-carrier (we used the Beko soft-carrier for our 3 – immensely comfy for baby & dad or mom & looks the business). When it comes to car child seats, use an iso-fix designed one. They truly are worth the bobs. Hugely safe & durable. Our 4 year old is still in his – and the same unit has safely transported our 3 over the past 7 years.
10 Enjoy. Enjoy. Enjoy.


Tom Evans is a Counsellor & Psychotherapist in Midleton, Cork, Ireland.
Call = 00353 86 3375310 and Lo-call 1890 989 320
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